16 March 2009

Does my teacher like me? If not why does he stare?

Dear Experts,
I don’t really know should I write this? But I need advice. But I really need someone to listen me. I’m 15 year old in high school. Something strange happened 2 weeks ago. I was waiting my teacher, and I saw this another teacher, I kept staring at him. His class was right in-front of me and I saw him everyday and I was staring at him all the time. I know this is wrong but I kept staring at him. Five days later, I was waiting my friend in the hallway and that teacher was passing by me and he stared at me two times. The next morning he stared at me like he was embarrassed. The next morning he stared at me like he was attracted by from me. Two days later he was in his classroom and helping his students he stared at me a lot of times. I got so nervous. I actually felt happy about it. I know this teacher shouldn’t be doing but I think he something on me. I kind of have feeling for him. I will never talk him or anything like that. Why he stares at me?
Thanks so much!!

Philip Borden

Hi Salote1000,
Thanks for asking your question to AlterHéros. I will try to advise you to the best of my ability.
So, If I understand correctly, there’s a teacher at your school that you, for some reason or another, felt compelled to stare at for a prolonged duration of time, on more than one occasion. Some days later you noticed this same teacher staring at you in a similar fashion. One time he stared at you and he seemed embarrassed. Another time, he stared at you in a way that made you feel as if he was attracted to you. You feel his staring at you is inappropriate but you also like the attention and you have some feelings for him. You have no intentions of ever speaking to him. You’re curious as to why he is staring at you in the first place.
Well, to answer your question, he is probably staring at you because he noticed you repeatedly staring at him. There may be some subtle flirting going on here, on the other hand, he could just be doing it unconsciously. In either case, this doesn’t necessarily mean that he is interested in you sexually, and even if he was, that doesn’t mean he would ever act on his attraction.
You indicated that you have no intentions of talking to him, which is good. So far, it doesn’t seem as if anything that inappropriate has taken place, and I’m sure you’ll agree that it would be best to keep it that way.
It’s natural for people to have physical attractions to each other. High school students are often attracted to teachers or older people in general as I’m sure that at least some perfectly normal teachers must be attracted to some teenage students, at times. It’s only when one person takes steps to pursue an inappropriate relationship that the line is crossed.
As I’m sure you know, if an inappropriate relationship were to occur between this teacher and you, he could lose his job or even be charged with a criminal offense, depending on the circumstances and the laws in your country. A relationship like this may seem exciting to you but it also could result in you being stigmatized by family and friends, which could have a negative affect on your self image.
It would probably be best for you to avoid making eye contact with him from now on. If he continues to stare at you inappropriately or make any sort of unsolicited advances towards you, you might want to mention it to one of the other teachers. So far, on the surface, this all seems quite innocent, but if he doesn’t cut it out, he might be up to no good.
Good luck! If you have any other questions or new developments you’d like to share with us, please don’t hesitate to write us back.
Philip for AlterHéros