15 October 2019

Can you turn gay later in life due to excessive masturbation before having sex for the first time?

Can you turn gay later in life due to excessive masturbation before having sex for the first time?
Hey guys, have a really good evening and regards from the U.S.
I am 27 years old and I am a virgin, I have always liked women since I got memory, I have always been aroused by them and did some experimenting when I was younger with them. Also I have had girlfriends recently though I didnt lose my virginity. I did experience to with boys when I was a little kid.
My problem is this and it is driving me insane, I love women and enjoy the thoughts of being with them while masturbating, and I get aroused while looking at them, but, at certain moments of my life after excessive masturbating, I lose a bit the interest in females and feel slightly attracted to guys :S. When I was a little kid someone told me “excessive masturbation can turn you gay”, “or masturbating before you lose your virginity is dangerous because you lack the gender to identify yourself as”. So this has me a bit desperate because I love women, I enjoy women, so I freak out when my interest for them goes down and I start feeling a slight attraction for guys. It has happened before but it goes away after a while, by any means Im not joking or this is intended to be a pun, I really need help, because I have always loved women and the thoughts with them and losing them would severe one of the few things I enjoy in this dull life, I am also taking a drug called finasteride and the side effects worry me because they might be connected to lowering my sexual libido.
Side note, never been attracted to any kind of gay porn, cant watch it, to me it looks very unnatural and like not in place, its my personal opinion and I dont mean to consider it as a fact just as a personal view with all due respect.
Thank you so much in advance.
Otakun

Mel

Can you turn gay later in life due to excessive masturbation before having sex for the first time?
Hey guys, have a really good evening and regards from the U.S.
I am 27 years old and I am a virgin, I have always liked women since I got memory, I have always been aroused by them and did some experimenting when I was younger with them. Also I have had girlfriends recently though I didnt lose my virginity. I did experience to with boys when I was a little kid.
My problem is this and it is driving me insane, I love women and enjoy the thoughts of being with them while masturbating, and I get aroused while looking at them, but, at certain moments of my life after excessive masturbating, I lose a bit the interest in females and feel slightly attracted to guys :S. When I was a little kid someone told me “excessive masturbation can turn you gay”, “or masturbating before you lose your virginity is dangerous because you lack the gender to identify yourself as”. So this has me a bit desperate because I love women, I enjoy women, so I freak out when my interest for them goes down and I start feeling a slight attraction for guys. It has happened before but it goes away after a while, by any means Im not joking or this is intended to be a pun, I really need help, because I have always loved women and the thoughts with them and losing them would severe one of the few things I enjoy in this dull life, I am also taking a drug called finasteride and the side effects worry me because they might be connected to lowering my sexual libido.
Side note, never been attracted to any kind of gay porn, cant watch it, to me it looks very unnatural and like not in place, its my personal opinion and I dont mean to consider it as a fact just as a personal view with all due respect.
Thank you so much in advance.
Otakun
 
Hi Otakun,
First of all, I am sorry for the delay, we’ve been really busy! Second of all, thank you for trusting us with your question! It can be hard to discuss different anxieties regarding sexuality. 
I would like to begin by quoting one of my coworker’s answer concerning a similar question ‘’these identities and labels [talking about differents labels like bisexual or gay] are there to guide us in our journey and there are no rules attached to them. Sexuality is something that is fluid. There is no rules as how to be a good gay man.’’ This means that there are no specific rules on how to be ourselves and that it can change with time
As for your concerns regarding masturbation and how it could make you gay, these articles are often written with homophobic and religious undertones. Masturbation is not something we should be ashamed of, even if it is often vilified by society. It is a good way to discover your body, your sexual desires or simply how you like to be touched. Sexual desires are fluid, they may change and progress through time, it’s really up to you! 
Masturbation will not make you gay. 
The popular discourses around sexual orientation make us believe that sexual attraction is binary, “if you are a man attracted to a man you must be gay”, but the reality is far removed from that! Gender, sexual attraction, sexual orientation can all progress and change throughout our lives. 
It is important to keep in mind that pornography is an industry and therefore it has a creative and theatrical approach to sex. It can be tricky to figure out our sexual desires when the only model we have is an enhanced and staged version of sexuality. 
If you feel comfortable, you can reach out to different LGBTQ+ organization in your area where you could potentially discuss these questions with people that are going through similar things. ( A list of LGBTQ+ resources by states will be linked at the end of this answer) 
Regarding your medication, it’s true that anti-depressant can affect your libido, and talking from personal experiences it can be quite stressful! If you have a good relation with your doctor you can always discuss libido and potentially switch medication. Personally, I did try to switch medication to lower that side effect, but Prozac (my medication) was the best option for me! I’m now trying to accept that my sexual desire can fluctuate in relation to my medication and/or my mood, but that at the end of that my medication is a big help in managing my anxiety and depression. 
I hope that this answered most of your questions, if you have a follow-up question don’t be shy to reach out to us again! 
 
Here is the article I quoted earlier: https://alterheros.com/experts/en/2018/11/can-constant-masturbation-cause-homosexality/
 
List of LGBTQ+ youth resources by states : 
https://www.lambdalegal.org/sites/default/files/publications/downloads/fs_resources-for-lgbtq-youth-by-state_1.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0k747rZVTt2XkXljSV3Eeh-3mAYDKdelf0T7dNqw2jlPw0Z3edUQco90U
LGBTQ+ ressources : 
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/#sm.0001c2u6yjghdjl11qc2942323nhr
 

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