Hi there,

Since I’m in Canada, I don’t know all the specifics of a name change in the United States, and it might depend on the state you’re in, but you could check this page about changing legal documents or this checklist by the National Center for Gender Equality. I believe the process starts by contacting your county court and filling out some forms.

As I understand it, it might be possible (but harder) to do a legal name change by yourself without your parents, but it also depends on things like your age, how long you’ve used that name, how many people are aware of it, the reasons your parents don’t consent, etc.

Are your parents aware of you wanting to do this? I don’t know them, but if they don’t know you could try to tell them, they could be willing to help. But if they’re not usually understanding about trans issues, you don’t have to put yourself in a difficult or dangerous situation either. 

Is there any way for you to talk to your teachers, school administration, doctors or nurses? Sometimes, there are ways to add a chosen name to a student or patient file and do things under the table. It doesn’t always work, and sometimes people will ignore these notes. But it could be worth a shot!

If you need more help or support, I suggest contacting a local trans or LGBTQ+ organization, like the Trevor Project.

Sorry I couldn’t help more! Wishing you all the best though!

In solidarity,

Maxim·e, intervenant·e pour AlterHéros

Iel/they/them, accords neutres