I'm sure I'm attracted to men, but i'm repulsed by the sight of a penis!

Hi, I’m really confused. I’m a male, 19 years of age and I have always been attracted to men. I am a virgin and I’m not sexually active. The thought/sight of a man’s penis does not arouse me in fact, I feel repulsed by it. What does this mean? Am I actually straight? Who should I talk to about all this? Surely by 19 I should have figured this out so that I can get on with my life! I’m sick of all this uncertainty.


Hi Sean,

Seems like you have a lot going on. You say that you have always been attracted to men, but the sight of a penis repulses you.

What is it about men that you are attracted to? Are you attracted to men in a sexual way? Being repulsed by a penis could mean many things, but only you know what it means to you. Does it scare you to think about being with a man? Has there ever been a particular man that you were attracted to? Perhaps if you thought about the things that you do get aroused by, or dream about they might help you.

As for someone to talk to, there are many options. Do you have any siblings that you are close to? Are your parents supportive? Any Aunts or Uncles? Friends are also a great outlet. Do you have any close friends you can bring this up with and feel comfortable? If none of those are options there are counselors. Lastly there are organizations such as Alterheros where you can write in. Other searches for areas near to you will help you find organizations that have hotlines you can call.

Just because you are nineteen does not mean you have to have life figured out. It’s a process and will fall into place. Take time and don’t stress yourself out about it. Just think about the things that you are attracted to in a man, and also consider the things that do arouse you. Finding the answers to those questions might help you get rid of some of that uncertainty and get on with your life the way you want.

Suzanne at Alterheros