15 November 2006

I didn't turn out the way I had wished...

I recently wrote you guys a question about being in love with my female best friend, you guys gave amazing advice, I wish it would of turned out the way that I wished, So what happened was one night after going out for a bit we went back to her place, andI accepted her advances, I have no idea how far it would of went but it was pretty hot and intense, not onlty that it was more then just a hot moment it felt amazing I never felt that way before, this happened a couple of times, finally I brought it up to her attention and we got int a discussion, she tole me that she does love me and that we will always be soulmates, but we need to keep this a secret and that we will always be best friends forever! i am unsure what to think about this , its not that I want a relationship but it feels weird, now I don’t even like going to her house beacuse its almost like its exopected that we fool around, Is this just supposed to be a cycle, that contuniues on this way??

sabrina prégent

Hi Stephanie,

I read you feel a little bit confused and uncomfortable. Your friend has been clear with you: she don’t want people to know about your relationship. But did she tell you why? Is it because she is not sure or comfortable about her sexual orientation? Is it because she has or want to have another relationship with someone else? Or is it because she just don’t want any commitment and stay free? Knowing your friend’s reason(s) to wanting to keep your relationship secret could help you to understand how she feels. And you, what do you think about keeping your relationship secret? Do you agree or disagree with it?

You wrote you dont like to go at your friend’s house anymore because you feel forced to fool around with her. When you feel uncomfortable in a relationship, one of the best solutions is to have a good conversation about it with the other person. If you don’t talk about it with her, the discomfort will grow and maybe someday it will be so strong that it will tear you appart. Furthermore, it will be easier to talk with her now about how you feel in this relationship than when the discomfort will be bigger. If you choose to have a conversation about it with your friend, it could be a good idea to prepare yourself. By preparation, I mean be sure about your feelings for her but about the relationship too, clearing what you want from this relationship and what type of relationship you would have with your friend. This way, you will exactly know the points and subjects you want to speak with her.

We hope you will find these advices as much amazing and useful as the precedents!

Sabrina, Alterheros