20 juin 2006

I am very stressed about my attractions

I’ve always been sexually and emotionally attracted to females. Except for a couple of instances (eg. watching movies) I haven’t until recently felt sexually attracted to a guy…but now it seems like it’s happening all the time. However, it is only really sexy and attractive guys. I’ve also lately been turned on by my own body, and I’m worried that is a bad thing. I haven’t been with a woman for quite a while, and I think maybe I’m just getting really horny…..? I would like to experiment with a guy, but I wouldn’t know how to go about it. It’s all very stressing.
Thanks for your help.

sara rahmani

Hello Gavin,

Thanks for writting to AlterHeros.

I understand that you are stressed because of a recent attraction to guys. Your desire to experiment with guys has raised some fears that you may not be as sexually confident as you would like to be approaching guys. You are also worried that being turned on by your own body may be wrong. You haven’t been with a woman for some time and are curious if all of your concerns stem simply from not having been with woman sexually for a while.

Your attraction to your body is a very normal part of development. Your body is unique, beautiful and capable of incredible things. There is no reason for you to be concerned that being turned on by your body is wrong.

Being attracted to guys is also not something that should concern you. It is perfectly normal for you to be attracted to guys and wanting to experiment with them is a a healthy _expression of your sexuality. Don’t worry about not knowing what to do if you feel ready to experiment with a guy. Respecting your partner involves being safe, open and honest with them. Valuing your body and respecting your partner involves practicing safe sex and being comfortable enough to discuss safe sexual practices. Express any concerns you may have and discuss any limits that you may feel you want to place on your relationship. This ensures that your partner will respect your physical and emotional needs and you will respect his.

It is also possible to be equally attracted to both men and women. This is normal and a healthy _expression of your sexuality. Not having been with a woman for a while is not the reason for your attraction to men or your own body. If you are with a consenting partner, all forms of sexual _expression are normal and choosing to express yourself in different ways and with different partners is normal.

Make sure to remain safe, open and honest with all your partners to ensure that you respect their physical and emotional needs and limitations.