21 mars 2010

Does she want ME to kiss her? Or that other girl?

hi my name is maribel,
i have this Bi friend that i met last year. we have been talking, texting, and been spending so much time together. We really gotten to know each other pritty good, and i don’t really know if she likes me? Because she talks about this other girl a lot (is it to get me jealous?), and i act like if i don’t mined but really,I’m burning in the inside! Why doesn’t she just hang out with the girl that she likes? why me? She sometimes even blows off the other girl to hang out with me? i have told her that i liked her but i couldn’t talk about it no more. so we left it like that.
My birthday just passed&how my birthday is on valentines day, she spent it with me, and i was going to kiss her for the first time but i really don’t know if i should even think of that knowing she likes someone else?
p.s. she Has been talking about A kiss,but she talks about that other girl& how she better get a kiss from someone before summer?(doesn’t have to be that girl)
What does all this mean? HELP

JP Duc

Hi Maribel, thanks for sending us your question.

Your question refers to a classic communication problem that is very common, “Does the person like me because I like them?”.

Communications between humans is complex. Because of all these complexities, miscommunications and misinterpreted messages are quite common. Often what we say is not what we mean, or what we hear from the person who is transmitting the message, is not what we understand as the receiver of that information. This is especially true when we involve human emotions into the mix like lust or love or sexuality.

In your situation, because you like your friend, the message that your friend is sending out may just be friendship communication… nothing more, but you may be interpreting what she is saying as something more. Or it may BE something more! Her spending more time with you may mean that she truly is interested, and her talking about kissing is her way of indicating interest, that she is waiting for a response from you (a move). As mentioned, communication and emotions are very complex things, so take things a step at a time, communicate your intention clearly, but be prepared for a ‘NO’ or ‘I'm not interested right now’ or ‘I just want to be friends with you’. This is why I suggest you take it forward slowly and with clear communication about your feelings; you want to avoid trying too hard, or even going too far, and possibly losing the good friend that she seems to be for you.

If you are “burning inside” as you have said, then you should think about communicating your feeling of admiration for your friend. Perhaps if you feel comfortable in doing so, take the time to explain to your friend that you like her more that just a friend. Also explain to her that if the feeling is mutual that you feel a bit jealous that she keeps taking about another girl.

You can read these other questions we’ve received that resemble your question:




And on the Internet I found this message board (please note, AH is not responsible for content on other sites, please use with caution)

«Does she like me as much as I like her?»


Wishing you all the best in your future of a relationship and love.

JP, for the AH Team.