The girl I loved used to humiliate me about the size of my cock…


Hi î’m from morocco but i live in france for study. I loved a girl she live in france too but she refused to have sex (she is not vierge) after seeing my cock she said i am to small for her(13cm or 5inches) and she used to humilate me about that even in public after she leaved me i star missing being humilated i also start only watch porn internatial(black guy xith huge dick) and white woman) because she is now in relation with a black guy
Rami
 
Hi Rami,
 
Thank you for having the courage to share this issue with us! To be sure I understand correctly, you’ve been trying to humiliate yourself by watching porn videos that make you feel sexually inadequate towards this girl. Would you become sexually aroused when she would humiliate you in public? And do you get aroused now when watching these types of porn videos? If you do, it can be simply explained by a concept called “sexual masochism”.  Sexual arousal from humiliation is a type of sexual masochism. This term means that we get sexual satisfaction from engaging in things like physical pain, i.e., being beaten or tied up, or like getting verbally humiliated, i.e., getting insulted or belittled. There’s also a newer term that might better represent what you’re going through, called “small penis humiliation”, where people get sexual satisfaction from others verbally belittling their penis size and shape.
 
Having sexual desires and fantasies like these is not a bad thing, and is actually quite common among adults! You may be wondering why desires like this exist, and one possible explanation is that we learn to associate the pain (or humiliation) with sexual gratification, and so we try to recreate those feeling of being humiliated to get pleasure.
 
When engaging in these sadomasochistic activities with partners, the most important thing is consent: partners should talk first about what they want from the experience and establish personal boundaries. Being open will not only make the sexual experience a safe one, but will also be more enjoyable for everyone involved.  
 
Although this girl made you feel sexually inadequate, studies show that most women don’t care about size, because size doesn’t matter when it comes to having penetrative orgasms! Also, the average size of a penis is approximately 5 inches (erect), so if someone isn’t pleased with that size, that’s just their personal preference.
 
If you feel worried by this new sexual desire, it would be a good idea to talk to someone about it, like a health professional (your doctor or psychologist) or even people in your social support group, like friends or family. If you feel comfortable and enjoy sexual masochism, great! People get pleasure from engaging in all sorts of activities. If you want to get more informed, there are so many articles online, videos on YouTube, and books about sexuality and sexual psychology.
Thank you Rami for reaching out to AlterHeros, and please don’t hesitate to write back with other questions!
 
Amalia
 


About Amalia

Amalia is a psychology student who loves everything about sexuality. She's notably in the Montreal Queer community, especially as an HIV/AIDS activist.

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