I only watch gay porn… Am I gay ?


Whenever i watch porn, it’s only gay porn
I can’t get aroused with girls unless i think of men
Am i gay?
 
Jonathan
 
Hi Jonathan,

First of all, thank you for trusting us with your question! Questioning your sexual orientation can be really stressful and sending us a question on that subject takes a lot of courage! To the question ”Am I gay”, you are the only person who can answer that question, but I can give you some resources and tricks to make it easier for you. Porn is usually the first place where people go to explore their desires and fantasies, but we need to remember that porn is not a realistic representation of sex. Porn is a form of entertainment, it’s made to look really enjoyable but it’s not really realistic. You can try to explore sexual desires outside of porn : erotic novels or erotic comics can be a good way to start. 

One thing that really helped me when I first started exploring my sexual orientation, was to understand the difference between sexual/romantic/sensual desires. You experience sexual desires when you are sexually aroused by a situation; romantic desires when you feel romance toward people and sensual desires when you want to be close to someone but not necessarily engaged in sexual activities. It is possible to have gay sexual desires, to be romantically interested in all genders (biromantic or panromantic) and be sensually attracted to everyone. Don’t be shy to research all the different kind of orientation, learning about different identities can help you to figure out your own identity! A good place to start is http://www.scarleteen.com/, where there is a bunch of articles on sexual orientation ! You can also watch youtube videos, buzzfeed did a bunch of good videos on that subject, just type ”buzzfeed gay” in youtube and you’ll find them! 

Remember that sexual orientation is a spectrum! It can always change and it’s not because someone identifies as ”gay” or ”straight” that they will never have ”gay” or ”straight” sexual or romantic desires. To resume, do as much research as you can to find the words and identities that make you feel good, try to think about sex outside of porn (your imagination can be great for that) and remember that sexual orientation is a spectrum ! Thanks again for trusting us with your question and don’t hesitate to post a follow up question! Here I linked some articles/videos to help your ! 

How did you know you were gay ?

I don’t know if I’m bisexual. What are the signs?!

June


About June

Hey, my name is June and my pronouns are they/them ! I am a non-binary transmasculine person. I can talk about queer and trans stuff for hours. I'm the happy dad of many house plants and I love to wear dress shirts with funny patterns.

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