hi i am a 14 year old lesbian who always fantasizes about other woman but i am forbiden to be with them by my parents who didn’t believe me and kept trying to make me straight and refused to accept that i wasn’t. I have recently been crushing on one of my best friends and she said she didn’t care but then ignored me. I have recently gone into deep depression and started cutting myself and contemplating suicide but i don’t want to stop cutting myself because it’s the only way i can feel better even though i know it’s dangerous when i talk to people about it they either ignor me, don’t believe me or just get creeped out i don’t know what to do because i don’t feel comfortable going to a counsellor about this
emily
 
Hi Emily,
Dealing with your sexual identity at such a young age can be difficult for you, your family and your friends.  Family often think it can’t happen to them.  Friends can be okay with it one day, then not on another.
You should be proud that you are honest and forthright about who you are, that is a brave thing to do.  As for the depression you have sunk into, it is totally understandable.
However, cutting yourself, though it makes you feel is dangerous as you stated.  I know you want to feel better, or feel anything but depressed.
As for the thoughts of suicide, the depression does not help with that.  Who are the people ignoring you, are the good friends, family? Have you shown them the marks to prove that you are not lying?
A counselor can help you tremendously, school counsellor, or perhaps someone at a GLBT center close to where you live? Do you have a friend that could take you there, perhaps a support group where you can talk to others who are in similar type situations.  The people at centers like that are open, non-judgmental, and their only goal is to help you feel better and listen to what you have to say.
Why are you willing to talk to your friends, but not a counselor?  A counsellor would keep everything private, is trained to help you and listen to what you have to say, and can offer a lot of beneficial advice.  Have you tried talking to your parents, perhaps if they truly knew the depths of their depression they might ease up, or at least be willing to talk to you about what is going on.
I do think that you should do something for yourself.  Spending your teenage years hurting yourself, feeling depressed and thinking about suicide is not how you want to remember those times.
We all go through tough times, times we think are too hard, too difficult, and too complicated for others to understand.  But there are people out there that can help you if you let them, I hope you do.  It will change your life for the better.
 
Suzanne