9 May 2023

Does my best friend's sister like me back?

My teammate is like my bestfriend and she has a sister who I became friends with because she goes to all of our games eventhough she doesn’t go to the same school as us. Me and her sister have slowly gotten closer and closer friends to the point where we would text every day and would stay up talking to eachother at night. I eventually realised that I had feelings for her because I’m gay but i don\’t know if she is. Then he sister started flirting with me a little bit. She even one time sent me a picture of me that she had screenshotted from my story and called me cute. We started getting even closer and she would keep flirting with me, but she never said she had feelings for me or if she was even gay. I never really said anything too flirtatious back even though I liked her because I didn\’t know if she was even gay and I was confused. Then one day she said something about how boys are weird, and I was like ” yea thats why you need to come to my side ” n then she said ” nothing against gay people, I have gay friends but I’m good nah nah nah ” then she double texted me asking if I have a girlfriend or if I’m talking to anyone and she never did anything like that before so that really confused me. Then she kept saying kinda flirty things the rest of the night. I am really confused does she like me back or not?

Léa/o (elle/iel)
Hi Raisy! First of all, I would like to thank you for sending in your question. I hope that you are doing well!

If I understand correctly, you have gotten closer to your sister’s friend recently and have started developing feelings for her? You also feel that she has become flirty with you, although you don’t necessarily flirt back because she has never openly talked about how she feels about you and her behavior doesn’t indicate that she is interested in dating women? I could see how this could possibly be confusing for you and how you may gain a lot from getting some clarity in this situation.

It’s impossible for me to know how your friend’s sister feels because she is the only one that has access to that answer. Even though it can be scary sometimes, I encourage you to tell her how you feel but also tell her how her behavior is affecting you. Setting boundaries for yourself could help you get a clearer message from her, as you feel that she has been sending mixed signals by being flirty but also by telling you she only sees herself dating men. Her response could surprise you!

I would also like to add that sexual orientation can sometimes take a while for certain people to figure out so it’s entirely possible that she is still exploring within herself or that she feels curious or even simply that she enjoys being flirty with you. If you feel that it is too confusing for you, I once again encourage you to set boundaries for yourself and tell her that you would rather she doesn’t act that way if her intentions aren’t clear, if that is something that you feel would help you gain clarity and peace from the situation.

I absolutely encourage you to always communicate how you feel, if you think that it’s a safe space for you to do so.

I wish you all the best Raisy and I hope that you will get some answers soon. Don’t hesitate to send more questions if you feel the need, we are here for you.

Léa·o, volunteer for AlterHéros