Hello Rick!

I hope this message finds you well. Thank you so much for trusting us with your question.

Just to quickly recap your question, you say you’ve been engaging in some sexual activities with your neighbour and have a desire to “go all the way”, which I assume means you’d like to have sex with him. Is that right? You’re fairly certain he would be interested, but you’re wondering if it’s safe to do so. Am I understanding correctly?

Well, the short answer is yes! It’s important to understand that in all sexual activities with a partner, no matter their gender or the acts involved, there will always be a certain level of risk. Having said that, there are many ways to make sure the sex you have is safer for everyone involved. My first piece of advice, always and for anyone, is to make sure that both of you are on the same page and are enthusiastically consenting to whatever you’re doing together. Sex, or “going all the way”, as you put it, can mean different things for different people. For some, that can mean oral sex, for others, it means penetrative sex, so better to communicate than make assumptions. After all, the goal is that everyone has fun!

My second piece of advice relates to what we usually mean when we talk about “safe sex”, which is preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs). I am not a medical professionnal, but I can tell you that it’s generally advised for you and your partner to get tested for STIs and use protection (condoms). I can also direct you to these available ressources in your area, which may be able to provide more detailed and comprehensive information:

– The NHS sexual health services: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/sexual-health-services/

– Terrence Higgins Trust: https://www.tht.org.uk/sexual-health/improving-your-sexual-health

– A liste of inclusive sexual health clinic: https://www.akt.org.uk/resources/inclusive-lgbtq-sexual-health-services/

– Information about sexual health from the LGBT Foundation : https://lgbt.foundation/help/sexual-health/, and their guides : https://lgbt.foundation/sexualhealth-resources/

As I’ve said, I’m not a medical professional, so I encourage you to seek one out, or to visit one of the ressources I linked, if you have any more questions concerning your sexual health. Hopefully this answer was helpful to you. Don’t hesitate to write to us again with any new questions.

Good luck and have fun

Béatrice (she/her), volunteer for AlterHéros