I know that it’s not what your hope to read but there is no cure for homosexuality. Homosexuality is not a behavior; it’s a preference. And no, I don’t know anybody who has been cured and back straight. I’m sorry, I know you can be scared, confused and maybe you disgust yourself for the moment. I understand that you don’t want to be gay. But, it is not because you are attracted to men that you are gay. Are you attracted to women too? If it’s the case, it can be easier for you to live in your society without having big problems about your sexual orientation because other people can’t know it.
However, you have the choice to express it or not, to live it or not, to accept it or not. It surely will be difficult, and you won’t stop thinking about men, but nothing forces you to live something you don’t wan’t to. If you think you are not ready , if you think it is better for you and your integrity this way, it’s okay.
I know it is hard to be gay when your religion is Islam because it deny it and badly treat people who are gay. I also know that religion and culture strongly influence our opinions and lifestyle. I don’t know in what country you live, but maybe there are some organizations that can help you such as phone lines that can listen to you if you need to talk. Organizations and phone lines are totally confidential so don’t worry about this.
If you can, go search about homosexuality information and about organizations near your area. It can help more understand what homosexuality is and what it imply, so it can help you with you decision, problems and context.