6 avril 2006

Is it a phase ?

i am 19. never before this year did i identify as a homosexual nor a heterosexual. last year my best friend fell in love with a woman…we spent a great deal of our time opening, exploring & trying to understand our sexualities, beginning it with her love for this woman. It forced me to look at mine in a new way & I discovered that I was gay too. my friends g/f has become my other close friend. they have a better grip on their sexuality while I still get too uncomfortable to come out to them. im not as sure as they are. the past 6 mnths, having identified myself as a lesbian to me only, have been so wonderful but sometimes, i am unsure. It all happend so fast that sometimes I doubt my understanding. for 6 years, i haven’t labeled my sexuality, it just was. good or bad. I miss that. Now everything i do, i do as a lesbian. it puts a whole new twist on everything i do. am i too homophobic to love this me that is undeniably happier or could i really be «going through a phase» as they say?

sabrina prégent

Hi becca,

Only you can know if you are homosexual. If you are only attracted by women and you feel you always was, you probably are homosexual. Some people have the prejudice that every young women who thinks she is homosexual just pass trough a phase. The truth is if you are attracted by women, you will probably be attracted by women all your life. In other hand, it is possible that you will discover that you are also attracted by men although you prefer women. In this case, it is bisexuality. However, I will rewrite it: only you can know what gender attracts you or if it is both.

If your best friend and her girlfriend are comfortable with their sexuality, it is very nice. If you are not ready to come out and that you are sometimes unsure, it is okay too. Each person has a different way and lives thing differently. It takes time to discover and accept your sexual orientation. It also takes time to be ready to come out as a homosexual (or a bisexual) to everybody you love and then, to everybody else. The only way to pass trough this «process» is taking your time and listening to your feelings, fears and emotions Then, when you will think you are ready, talking about it to someone you trust can help you to be more confident.

This period can be hard and long but the joy, freeing and proud you will experimente at the end of it will make it worthed it.

Sabrina, AlterHeros