19 mai 2009

Did I cross a line by telling my friend I have fallen for him?

I am asian male in my 40s. I have a best friend who is late 20s. We have known each other since he is 16. He is now married with a young son. We spend all our possible time together. Go to shopping, listen music, talk and share every experience. He know I am gay but never say anything out of respect for me. It didn’t start this way, but I have fallen deeply in love with him. I have always been attracted but know he is not interested. Finally, I cannot take this anymore – I LOVE him beyond anything else. So – I finally tell him. I choose my words carefully, but make no mistake I tell him I am deeply in love with him and cannot imagine my life without him forever. He is married. Oh my God what have I done?


Bao Le,

You were as truthful as you could be with your friend which is a deep sign of respect towards yourself, and he may or may not see it that way. Regardless of his reaction, you have to take pride in having stood up for what you believe in. Love can be very confusing. The results of your declaration may or may not be to your liking but that does not mean what you did was bad. You may or may not lose a friend out of what you did but you can learn a great lesson about who you are: Someone allowed to express his thoughts, feelings, etc… with someone who hopefully will have understood you as a real friend only can.

Best of luck,

M. for Alterheros