I am a woman in a long-term relationship with a man who came out as a transvestite about two years ago; several years after we began dating. He is the only man I have been sexually attracted to, otherwise I am almost exclusively attracted to women. I am confused about my gender identity. I had some discomfort with this when I was a child, but eventually made peace with my body and the urges to express my male-ness almost completely disappeared. With his coming out as a cross-dresser, my desires have returned and I have begun collecting male clothing again, and wearing it in private. I cut my hair several months ago, and my boyfriend and parents had a fit.
My boyfriend is aware of my bisexuality, but my transvestism only comes out when I am drunk and it makes him extremely uncomfortable. My parents are neither aware of my gender nor sexual identification.
What can I do about managing my attraction to women, and how do I explain all this to my family? Do I have to?