Tag: fact

I think I have sadism, gender, sexuality issues

I think I may be having gender, sexuality and sadism issues. Where gender is concerned, I'm biologically female. However, I completely loathe the idea of anyone perceiving me as such, but I know there's no way for me to be male and I don't want to be one. I'd prefer to be neither or both. And I'm not attracted to men or women- but I am really attracted to the idea of them being hurt, sexually or otherwise. Whenever I hear that some young, promising person has committed suicide, or a very loved child has been murdered, it really excites me, until I realize how disgusting that is and I don't know what to do. Part of the reason why I don't want to be perceived as female is because they are perceived as vulnerable- I like that on other people but not me. I don't think any of this is right. I have no romantic options like this, I would like them, but I just don't like other people. Am I sadistic + asexual or just messed up in the head? How can I accept it or change?

Is it worth opening up to him? I might lose ...

Hi, I'm seventeen and have not been sure about my sexual orientation since when I was about 15. I like girls but there is also a guy I know that i really like even though I really wish a didn't. Unfortunately we are really close friends so I really don't want to risk losing him as a friend, but I really like him. We tend to tease and play around with each other, but he has a girlfriend. I know he probably isn't attracted to me but I feel stuck in the middle because I feel like I'll be miserable for the rest of my life. I know that I'm still young but If this is how its going to be I don't want to have face this. I really don't know if its worth opening up to him and telling him what I feel about him because I really value our friendship but I feel the need to tell somebody. I've liked girls most of my life but now I'm not sure.

I don’t want to waste my teen years on the ...

Hi, I am an unsure 15 year old. I have liked girls all throughout middle school, but suddenly I found myself becoming sexually attracted towards guys. It's something I wouldn't want, but would know if would have to face if it is real. I like girls, I find myself attracted emotionally and midly sexually, but to guys I have no emotional connection, and an almost overpowering sexual attraction. I am not sure if I am just fearful of the weird hormones during puberty, going through a weird phase with weird fantasies, or if I'm doomed to having only partially "whole" relations with either sex. I know I have a long time to decide, and I've been thinking about it for a long time, but the thoughts are conflicting and I'm still not sure. And I don't want to waste any part of my teenage years on a sex which I actually can't have a fulfilling relationship with.

My boyfriend won’t stop masturbating with online men!

I am in a long term relationship.I am a 41yr old female and my boyfriend is 36. We met on the internet ( yahoo messenger) and through the years, I had heard several rumors about my boyfriend masturbating with other men. I took it as just rumors and people being hurtful and wanting to cause trouble. I did some checking around and found out it was true. I confronted him and he lied to me about it. Once our relationship took on a serious not I decided to confront him again and tell him that I knew he was masturbating online with other men. After denial and a very heated discussion. He was truthful.He tells me he is not bi or interested in being with a man but he is sexually aroused watching men masturbate.He has told me that he will stop but it hasn't he will wait till I am not around and immediately seek out pictures of men. This has caused me great concern. Am I over reacting and making a big issue out of something that is normal for a straight man to do ?

My obsessive fear about turning gay ruined my sex drive

Alright, here goes. I'm 19 years old, and still in puberty. All my life I've been attracted solely and exclusively to women, this includes enjoying sex, falling in love, etc. Then, a couple of months ago, I've been struck with an obsessive fear about turning gay, though there was no proof or reason to think so. This threw me into a long period of anxiety and depression which completely killed my sex drive. Anyway, I've gone through a whole variety of attempts to check whether I was truly gay or not, including watching gay porn, and a couple of times, masturbating to it. Here's the thing: I hardly get hardly any arousal from homosexual images or thoughts. They are often even unpleasant and undesired, however, when I tried masturbating to them, it felt... a lot better than usual. I don't think I could ever fall in love with a guy, or be with one... What does this all mean? Could I be gay? Bisexual? Combined with the recent lack of sex drive, this is completely destroying me.

I asked her to hang out but I’m scared of ...

So I have known this girl since elementary school (yes I'm a girl also) but in 5th grade I moved and haven't seen her since then. Until Recently I found her again on myspace, so I added her, and we didn't talk much. So I been trying to get to know her better, because I think she is really pretty. (yes she is a bisexual) too. The thing is I don't know her like that, and its hard trying to talk to her, cause I'm really scared of rejection. So recently she been really upset and for some reason knowing she is upset make me upset too. So I want ot know is that more then attraction, if so what should I do?...Honestly I felt like I like her, but then again I don't talk to her much and haven't seen her since 5th grade. What should I do?... P.S. I did ask her if she want to hang out during winter break and she say that would be cool. So tell me what I should do =[

I feel suicidal about a guy who won’t return my ...

Hi, I met a 32 yo straight guy at a straight bar in December and brought him back to my place. I offered to give him a massage and he flipped and left, but before he leaves, he confesses to me that he is curious. We exchanged phone numbers and we spoke once, but then he didn't respond to my text message so I left him alone. Over the summer, I started thinking about how I enjoyed his company that night and how I was impressed with his interest in my personality. So, I called him back but two weeks passed by and he didn't call me back. Therefore, I call him and he told me that he would call me back that night or the day after. He still hasn't called me back. I am feeling suicidal lately and I feel quite depressed over this, I feel so unloved and unappreciated. I wish I could have him in my arms and tell him how much I miss him and care about him. Can you guys please help me? I can't take this pain anymore.

I’m not sure if I’m bi anymore, and I wish ...

Lately I have been very confused about my sexuality and gender identity. I have identified as Bisexual for the past two years, but I don't really have much interest in sex. I feel especially uncomfortable in sexual situations with men, and whenever I have sexual fantasies they're about women. I have only dated men in the past, and liked those relationships but never had sex with them. I do develop crushes on men, often on gay men. This makes me wish I were a man, or at least sort of androgynous. These feelings have led me to question my gender identity. I am female and dress in a very feminine way, but I feel like this might be more of a reflection of societal expectations than what I actually want. Sometimes I really want to wear men's clothes and wish I could just wear either without it seeming strange. Sorry if this question is incoherent, I just have a lot of questions jumbled around in my head right now.