10 mars 2009

Not like it used to be - how can I fix my relationship?

I know i can’t go back to what used to be with my boyfriend but things have changed and one week he’s deeply in love with me and shows me everything and leaves me without any doubts, but there’s other weeks where he barely shows anything. I like talking to him and I don’t want to come off as desperate to talk to him or anything because I know it won’t be a good idea but we’ve been fighting because i tell him how i feel but not exactly. I dont plan on telling him to prove me his love because I believe him, I just miss some of the old times where he used to care more and such. What should I do?


Hi Anonymous,

Relationships can be tricky. Although I don’t have all the details about your relationship, I have some ideas about what might be going on with your boyfriend. You say that you tell your boyfriend how you feel, “but not exactly.” I get the feeling you mean that you are holding something back, because you are afraid of how he will react. This is never a good sign. No matter how you feel about someone, you should be able to express yourself to them without feeling like you

have to hold back, protect their feelings, or risk losing their love because of what you say to them. If you two can’t be honest with each other, this relationship isn’t going to work.

I would suggest sitting down with him for a serious discussion about your relationship. It’s obvious that you care about him and want to know if he feels the same. Tell him how you feel, and then ask him to be totally honest about how he feels about you. Be prepared for the worst, but hope for the best. If he isn’t willing to talk to you about what’s really going on, then he may not be emotionally able to commit to the relationship and you would do well to end it.

Remember that you are worth loving, and if the person you are in a relationship doesn’t see that, it may be much better to be on your own.

– Laura,

for Alterheros