My strong feelings continue - should I tell her so?

I am 16 years old, I am a bisexual girl, and I am in love with a close friend of mine, who is also bisexual. I have felt this way about her one year and a half. When I met her I didn’t know or accept that I was bi, and I didn’t know that she was bi either. We had an innocent friendship at the beginning. Last summer I realized that I wanted to kiss her more than anything. One night on a sleepover she unexpectedly asked me to kiss her, and it was the most beautiful and erotic moment of my life, up until that moment. I guess I had my first real and meaningful kiss with her. She started dating this guy and we would constantly fight for her. I still don’t know if she knows that I love her or if she thinks that I’m just having fun. We flirt a lot, we’ve kissed many times, and it definitely had a sexual connotation to it, as opposed to just two friends joking around. Since it’s been almost two years and my feelings are as strong as ever, I’m confused as to whether I should tell her or not.

Tilly Bee

Hi Christy!

My name is Tilly and first of all I want to say I’m so glad that you’ve reached out to us at Alterheros! I’d be more than happy to try to help you in any way I can.

It sounds like you’re in a pretty difficult situation right now. I would suggest that the most important thing here is to be honest. You are being honest with yourself and that alone is amazing. Perhaps you should think about extending that honesty to your friend. It sounds like neither of you have talked to the other about your feelings and neither of you know where the other stands. Maybe you could try to be honest and open with her and tell her in a private one-on-one setting how you feel, and then you can find out how she feels too.

You say you’ve kissed numerous times and that these intimate moments have meant a lot to you. For the sake of your own heart, it might be worth to find out what these moments have meant to her. Also, don’t forget to think about where she is in her life. For example, you seem quite confident in your sexuality, but not all people are – this can be really scary, as I’m sure you know. Additionally, she is in a relationship, which she has chosen to be in, and that is a choice that deserves understanding and respect. It’s a very hard choice to make, it always is with matters of the heart. But know that we are here for you if you need any further advice or just someone to talk to.

Good luck, Christy!


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