My strong feelings continue – should I tell her so?

Hi Christy!

My name is Tilly and first of all I want to say I’m so glad that you’ve reached out to us at Alterheros! I’d be more than happy to try to help you in any way I can.

It sounds like you’re in a pretty difficult situation right now. I would suggest that the most important thing here is to be honest. You are being honest with yourself and that alone is amazing. Perhaps you should think about extending that honesty to your friend. It sounds like neither of you have talked to the other about your feelings and neither of you know where the other stands. Maybe you could try to be honest and open with her and tell her in a private one-on-one setting how you feel, and then you can find out how she feels too.

You say you’ve kissed numerous times and that these intimate moments have meant a lot to you. For the sake of your own heart, it might be worth to find out what these moments have meant to her. Also, don’t forget to think about where she is in her life. For example, you seem quite confident in your sexuality, but not all people are – this can be really scary, as I’m sure you know. Additionally, she is in a relationship, which she has chosen to be in, and that is a choice that deserves understanding and respect. It’s a very hard choice to make, it always is with matters of the heart. But know that we are here for you if you need any further advice or just someone to talk to.

Good luck, Christy!


for Alterheros

About Tilly Bee

Tilly holds a bachelor in Political Science and Global Development from the University of Western Ontario (UWO), where she got certified for the ALLY program. She also volunteers with the Women’s Issues Network at UWO, and is an active participant in Eve Ensler’s V-Day campaign to end violence against women.

Because I know it means a lot to have someone to talk to when you feel like you’re facing an issue alone and I would like to be able to be that someone for anyone who is making the effort to reach out and ask for it through AlterHéros.