Making friends (or more!) with girls

Hi again Walter! It’s great to hear that the last answer was helpful to you. I hope I can do the same again!

This time it sounds like you’re asking what the best way is to talk to any kind of girl in order to become closer with her (whether as a friend or boyfriend). This is difficult because, as I’m sure you know, each and every person you are going to meet in your life is going to be different. Everyone likes different things whether it’s music, food, clothes, movies, books, or other people. Some girls will like people who are funny, some girls will like people who are romantic, some girls will like people who are sporty, and some girls might not even like people! You never know who you are going to meet and what they are going to be looking for, so there is really no magical way to approach a girl. It’s the same with girls as it is with boys. You chose your friends because you enjoy spending time with them and have the same interests, a girl will choose to be friends (or more) with you for the same reasons. So Walter, all you can do is be yourself. Do what you like to do, participate in activities that you love, talk to people who you have something in common with.

If you see someone you might be interested in, it’s always a good idea to try to learn more about them. So go up to her, ask some questions (ask if she’s seen a certain movie, or if she went to see the school’s sports game last Friday, for example) and see if you have anything in common to talk about. It is not a good idea to put on an act or pretend to be something you’re not just so that other people will like you, because it probably won’t last. Relationships (whether romantic or friendly) are based on honesty, so you need to be honest about who you are.

In the meantime though, maybe just have fun! It might be a good idea to stop putting so much importance on meeting girls and getting a girlfriend. Have you ever heard the saying ‘everything happens when you least expect it’? Well it’s quite true. Often, as soon as you stop looking for something or focusing on it, that’s when it happens. I understand how nice it is to have a girlfriend, but it is also important to focus on yourself and having fun. A girlfriend will come with time!

I hope this helps you. Feel free to write in again!

Hillary, for Alterheros.

About Hillary Greer

Hillary is currently completing her Bachelor of Social Work at McGill University, hoping to continue on to her Master degree after. When she lived in Toronto, she volunteered and worked at an alternative youth and family counselling organization with Dr. Karyn Gordon. Since moving to Montreal, she has completed an internship at Head and Hands, and has now been involved with AlterHeros for almost two years! She am now doing an internship at the MAB-Mackay Rehabilitation center, working with families of young children with hearing impairments and developmental delays.

Being a part of the outreach team at AlterHeros has given me the chance to explore a wide variety of topics and connect with the queer community a bit more. I had a lot of emotional support growing up and was supported in whatever choices I made. I love being involved with Tell the Experts because it enables me to be able to connect with individuals who might be looking for that kind of support for themselves. Growing up, exploring and questioning yourself, and coming out can be difficult and sometimes scary, and I am thrilled to be able to help as many people as possible to make this journey an easier one.