I am a lesbian and I live in a very religious area, what should I do ?
I am a lesbian, but I haven’t really told anyone. I live in a very religious area, and my family, and most of my friends are very religious, and homophobic. I’m a christian but I think that people are born gay. Growing up I have always been taught that being gay is dirty, and wrong.
When I was younger I told myself it was wrong to like girls, and that I was disgusting. I got really depressed, and even tried killing myself, but no one ever really noticed.
I don’t know what to do. I’m getting depressed because I have to hide the real me. I have lost intrest in a lot of things, and my normally flawless grades have been slipping a lot. I keep telling myself that when I graduate high school I’m going to go far away where I can meet people who accept me for who I am, but that still doesn’t help much.
I know I need to tell people about this, but a lot of people that I know don’t believe in depression, and that if you’re a Christian it’s impossible to be depressed. What should I do ?
Its not always easy to live with homosexuality and religion at the same time. Particularly when the family and the area is very religious. But about the depression, you maybe should see a doctor and tell him/her about it. Perhaps he could give you tips about how to fight against it. You also can talk about depression, suicidal tendencies and, if you want, sexual orientation with someone you trust like school’s social worker, a professor or a friend.
You are living difficult experiences at the moment and you maybe dont see the end of it. A good tips I can give you is to meet other homosexual and bisexual teens. I know it seems difficult, but maybe there is a discussion group, a drop-in or a gay and lesbian school association near your area for people of your age. Otherwise, you can chat on gay and lesbian internet group or there is maybe a phone line for homosexual youth in your state or country. Meeting people like you can help you stop feeling alone and feeling like you hide yourself. You can also reveal you sexual orientation to close friends, family members or other people you trust. These kind of things can help you out to be more comfortable with your life and yourself. However, you dont have to come out to your parents since you are not ready to do it. It can be very difficult, depending of each family and members.
I hope this message will help you a little bit or give you ideas.