1 octobre 2023

How can I tell my mom I'm transsexual while I'm still young?

I want to come out to my mother as a transsexual. She knows I’m bisexual, but she’s still doing the « it’s just a phase » thing. Other than that, she seemed open enough about it, and overall accepts my sexuality. I want to tell her about this now, while I’m still young. I’m not sure if she’ll be supportive. How can I tell her in a way that’ll be easy for her, and maybe encourage her to support my decision?


Hi Alice,

It seems like your Mom is trying, which is a good thing. It can be hard for parents, not because they don't love you or don't want you to be happy. Mainly it is difficult because they worry. The fact that she is “open enough” is a step in the right direction.

How to tell her about being a transsexual is most likely causing a lot of stress for you. There are several things you can try and do to ease into the discussion. First what kind of support system do you have in place? Do you have any friends or siblings that know? Is there a school counsellor that you can talk to? Are there any LGBT programs close by that you can talk to?

Do you think your Mom would be open to going to a meeting of some kind with you? There are organizations such as PFLAG that are great for offering support and guidance to parents and friends. Do you remember how you told your Mom about being bisexual? Perhaps you could broach the topic in a similar manner.

You mentioned that you want to tell your Mom while you are still young. Fifteen is a young age and it may be hard for you Mom to understand, especially if she thinks the bisexual thing is a phase. It might be a good idea to take some time and create a healthy support system around you so that when you decide to tell your Mom you will be able to do it in as confident a manner as possible. This might aid in her realizing that it is something important to you, and something that is obviously serious.

If your Mom sees how important and difficult it is for you to tell her she may be more open. It might be a good idea to be prepared. Is there any literature you can collect? Websites, pamphlets, books, or even friends in similar situations can all be great resources that you can use and also share with your Mom. If she sees that a lot of work and thought was put into bringing this up with her, this might help with her understanding that it is important to you. This might also help her be supportive of your decision.

It is important to know that nothing is fool proof and your Mom might react badly or in a manner you do not think of as supportive. If this is the situation, that is why a good support system is important.

Suzanne at Alterheros