(English) Friend to Foe to Love


I am one of a group. There are four of us, all gay men and all best friends. “Sisters” as one of us called us. There was Henry, Karl, Dan and I. We all lived in the same area of London; all went to the same school. I however broke the mould.
The others were more effeminate than I, more stereotypical. I was always the straggler, the uncool one and the different one.
One guy in the group called Dan was the last to join the four of us. He wasn’t especially handsome or fit and definitely not the guy I was after but I slowly found my self developing a crush on him. We also became very close friends.
We would break off from the group and do our own thing. I wanted it to progress into something more but it never really happened.
We had all left school and separating into different universities. However we still kept contact. Then one summer Henry invited us all to his flat for a reunion.
I had a boyfriend and was now completely over Dan. My boyfriend, Frank came along too and we mixed and caught up with each other. I still found myself still very close to Dan but not in a sexual way. Then we all went out to a bar. We all got very drunk and we all decided to head of back to Henry’s place. I soon found myself kissing Frank on the balcony and then I was on the pavement (sidewalk) bleeding badly and half unconscious. I had fallen twenty foot onto concrete. I had broken my arm in two places and my pelvis on both sides. It left me crippled for three months. Frank was really supportive as was my mum, brother and sister (my father disowned me when I came out). I saw the guys a few times but when I next saw time when I was fully recovered Dan started acting really strange around me. Refusing to talk to me and every time I arranged to meet up he couldn’t make it. Henry assured me it was just boyfriend trouble but I wasn’t so sure.
About seven weeks later I was in a well known gay bar in Soho with Frank when a Spanish man came over. He said that he knew me because he knew Dan. We got talking and he told me that Dan was telling everyone that I had harassed him. I was heart broken.
He had been my best friend for the best part of seven years and he had started spreading rumours for no reason. I told Henry about and he said he knew. Henry had heard the rumours as well. He had tried to stamp them out but Dan had been inventing stories more wild and strange each day. Frank said that I should confront him about it.
So on a chilly December snowy morning I went over to Dan’s house.
I knocked on the door three times and waited. He opened the door and welcomed me in. I sat down on the cream leather sofa, smiled and started. I asked him why he was doing this and why he was acting so weird.
Then something I had never expected came from his mouth.
“I love you” replied earnestly. My jaw dropped. That had been the last thing I had expected. I sat there for a while in silence, being engulfed by my own thoughts. I stood up and smiled and him, no I more beamed,
“You know a few years ago I would have died to hear that but you’re just a bit late” His head sunk and he tried to cover his tearful eyes. At that point I felt so sorry for him I almost forgot about my commitments to Frank and almost hugged him and embraced him. But i remembered who I was and I said
“Dan I’m with Frank, I’m happy and I’m sure you’ll be too but please stop the rumours” He nodded and I patted my “sister” on the back sympathetically and turned and left the house.
I still see the guys now and again. However I have more important things on my hands now. Anyway I was always the straggler.


About AlterHéros

Depuis 2002, AlterHéros répond à vos questions en ligne au sujet de la diversité sexuelle, de la pluralité des genres et de la santé sexuelle en général. Nous organisons aussi des activités pour les jeunes LGBTQIA2S+ de 14 à 30 ans et leurs allié.e.s.

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