Category: Sexual and romantic orientation


I was hoping someone could point me to where I ...

Hi, I've always identified as being a cis heterosexual male but have been questioning my sexuality for about 2 years now. I'm slowly accepting that I might actually be bi (probably a 2 on the Kinsey scale). I've always been a LGBTQ+ ally but have always had difficulty accepting anything other than straight for myself. I'm in a fairly new committed heterosexual relationship with a girl I love and that loves me. I've finally been able to open up about this with her and she was extremely accepting. It felt good to be heard, not judged, and has removed a lot of weight from my shoulders. I am happy with her, I feel satisfied sexually, and am happy being faithful to her. I'd love to be able to hear from other men who've been through a similar change. Most of what I found online showcased men who initially identified as gay who then realized they liked both. I had trouble relating to them and was hoping someone could point me to where I can find resources that talks about people with a more similar experience to mine. Best,


I’m attracted to girls but I don’t know wether I’m ...

I am 16 and I have had mistook "admiration" as "crush" a lot of times when I was small... And now knows that the "boy" crushes(3 to be exact) I had was just mere admiration to be like them....(I want to be more masculine) and I recently realised that I am attracted to girls... and if I were to date someone(or marry someone in the far future) then that 'someone' would be a girl... I don't label myself as lesbian because I am still confused as I have never got a crush and neither do I understand what actually is a crush..(and I truly don't understand the "butterfly in stomach" feeling everyone talks about) and also nowadays I question myself like "what if I am lying to myself about being lesbian" "am I being like this just to be different from others?" and such questions are making me more and more confused. Please help! I can't understand whether I'm lesbian or not!!


I think I might be asexual or aromantic but I’m ...

I think I may be a- or demi-sexual & -romantic, but I'm not sure exactly. The way I feel is about the same for both, so as an example: I'm not sure if I've ever felt romantically attracted to anyone. I have had some experiences I might call crushes, but I really struggle to identify what is and isn't romantic attraction. I feel like it should be simple to tell but for me it's not. There are one or two instances where I've felt like I'd like to have a romantic relationship with a specific person. In general, I want to have romantic relationships, but not with specific people. I maybe think about things I'd like to do with a partner, but very rarely do I think about specific people in that way. Sexuality is maybe a little simpler to figure out? I don't feel like I'm sexually attracted to people. I'm turned on by watching porn, but that's more about the acts than the people, I think. I've never had sexual fantasies involving people I know. Actually, my sexual fantasies don't usually include me at all. But, like with romance, I do want to have sex. I know that there's a range of how asexual people feel about sex, but what I've seen doesn't usually include actively wanting sex? I don't know. I guess in summary, I think I might be demiromantic and asexual, but I still want romantic and sexual relationships. Beyond how I feel about that myself, I kind of worry that people wouldn't want those things with me- especially, a romantic relationship- if I don't feel attracted to them. Do you have any advice about how to talk to people about this, or more insight on my situation?



I started finding people less attractive, does it mean I’m ...

I wanted to ask if I was asexual I like both genders and I would have sexual contact with them the reason i’m confused is because I started finding people less attractive like everyone I don’t find people necessarily attractive anymore which is weird because it happened out of no where I mean I still get horny it’s just I don’t find anyone attractive so idk if I wanna have sex but I do just with someone that I would find attractive and I don’t find anyone attractive so it’s really confusing


Does it make you gay to have sex with another ...

does it make you gay if at 13 i sucked my friends penis and he sucked me off also we used to beatoff togeather for couple years then started sucking each other off ,and does it mean anything if i eat my own cum ? My friend and I will order y'all for 12I started masturbating together and then a year later we're starting fucking each other off Does that make me gay I like when it came, Then does it make you gay If you would like to You like being your own your own cum Seth




I’m non-binary and I want to know my sexual orientation…

Hi. I would like to know about my sexuality. When I was younger, and people thought I was a girl, I had crushes on only boys. Now, looking back, I'm not sure if the crushes were real, or if soceity - (did I spell that right?) and my family- pressured me into wanting to fake crushes so I could fit in with my female cousins and classmates. looking back, there were enormous signs of my omnigender identity lying there, just being ignored. the way I wanted to hang out with my boy cousins more than my female ones, the times I played wearing both a princess dress and a fake mustache, and the way I was so upset the night my mom was telling my sister about gender indentities, and when I told my mom I was non-binary after hearing that term, she told me I wasn't, which might have been one of the worst nights of my life. but enough about my gender. I'm positive of it now and I want to know my orientation. Later, just after I came out, I started having crushes on girls. I was madly in love with my best friend for awhile, but now I'm shipping her with my other friend, so I'm really over her. By then, (and still now) I find straight white cis boys repulsive (and other boys pretty bad as well.) which was the exact type of guy I used to crush on (or maybe not?) but here's the weirdest part. I was so crazy about this kid (who told everyone he was non-binary at the time) that I sent him a message, telling him I liked him, then as soon as he said he was actually a boy, I lost complete intrest in him. crazy, I know. Do they have a sexuality fluid orientation? Did I make up all my crushes exept the last one, to be accepted? these questions flood my mind. please help. Minijkrowling


So is it normal to reject your sexuality? How do ...

I have questioned my sexuality basically my entire life. I have always felt more attracted to women than men. But always dated men because it was considered "normal". My first kiss ever, was with a girl. My first sexual experience was with a girl. My best friend in middle school and I messed around a lot and spent just about every day with her. But when she finally wrote me a letter telling me how she felt towards me and that she wanted to be more than just my friend, It pissed me off. I was really mean to her and just stopped being friends with her altogether. For years, off and on I messed around with another one of my friends but convinced myself that we were just having fun. And Everytime she tried to make it more official, It would irritate me. Both of us, were off and on in relationships with men. Anytime I've been in a relationship with a guy, I've always struggled with letting go of the "gay thoughts". I'd always choose spending time around females than I would my boyfriend/partner. I've always been more comfortable around females than men. Everytime I was in a straight relationship with a guy, I always felt like I couldn't fully be myself. It wasn't until I finally decided to stop being in a straight relationship and started seeing a female. She was/is so pretty and funny and that was the first time in my entire life where I felt genuinely happy and completely myself. Being in straight relationships with men, It was very rare that I ever made the first move but being with her was completely different. I wanted to kiss her, hold her hand, literally just be next to her. But the thought of coming all the out was literally terrifying. I don't know why. I wanted to commit and ask her to be my girlfriend soo bad but I did the exact opposite. All the thoughts like, what Is my life going to look like being in a relationship with a female, what if this is just a phase for her, how are both of our kids gonna react, there was so many questions that spiked my anxiety to the point that I just ghosted her and went back to seeing men and made excuses and was kinda mean to her. I've always been more okay with public relationships with men but I struggled with them privately, being with a female is opposite. So is it normal to reject your sexuality? How do I become more comfortable with it? K.O.


I am 39 years old and just came out as ...

Hello, I am a 39 year old male, who just recently came out. I admit I am struggling with my new identity/lifestyle/ am struggling to continue to come out to those around (currently I just came out to those very close to me and just shut everyone else out of my life). I am looking for some support/ group to help me feel comfortable with new identity and am not entirely sure where to go for help. I found your website on line (I know it says the focus is up to age 35, but I figured I would try and write to see if you'd be able to help). Thank you in advance for any help your able to offer. Nicholas



I have been thinking a lot lately about my sexual ...

Hello I have been thinking a lot lately about myself, about my sexual orientation which i know nothing about it. I’ve been overthinking a lot about my condition. I’m not sure about my actual sexual orientation, i’ve been attracted to gay porn since 12 years old, now i’m 22 yo, i’m still attracted, but in real life, i just don’t know, i have a lot of male friends who i don’t find attractive to do something like porn, and also for 5 years, i’ve been living with male roommates, and i have never been saying to myself that i like this guy or o i’m attracted to that one, never. In addition, even if i was attracted by someone, i would never do that, first of all because of my religion that i respect, second of all because i won’t be liking doing sex with guys. I imagine myself with a woman, and ofc having children... i want to stoop thinking about this problem and live a good life, specially in my twenties. This problem affected me so much, that i can’t talk to any girl, thinking that i won’t be her prince. This problem is living in my mind for over 4 years now, but as im growing, im just letting go the idea of having a straight relationships, that i dream of them. I just want to be normal. I’m also thinking that my attraction to guys, is that i envy them about their dick size is, all i see during looking to a gay porn video o a photo, is just the person’s dick that all, because i think my 14cm’s dick isn’t enough, specially when all of my male friends have big dicks behind their boxers, i just envy them. I try telling myself that my self-confidence came from my unhappiness about my penis. I want to know how to deal with this shit, and how i can get what i want, a normal life, no gay thing no dicks, Just having a girl by my side and living together. Thank you