Category: Sexual and romantic orientation


I am 39 years old and just came out as ...

Hello, I am a 39 year old male, who just recently came out. I admit I am struggling with my new identity/lifestyle/ am struggling to continue to come out to those around (currently I just came out to those very close to me and just shut everyone else out of my life). I am looking for some support/ group to help me feel comfortable with new identity and am not entirely sure where to go for help. I found your website on line (I know it says the focus is up to age 35, but I figured I would try and write to see if you'd be able to help). Thank you in advance for any help your able to offer. Nicholas


I have been thinking a lot lately about my sexual ...

Hello I have been thinking a lot lately about myself, about my sexual orientation which i know nothing about it. I’ve been overthinking a lot about my condition. I’m not sure about my actual sexual orientation, i’ve been attracted to gay porn since 12 years old, now i’m 22 yo, i’m still attracted, but in real life, i just don’t know, i have a lot of male friends who i don’t find attractive to do something like porn, and also for 5 years, i’ve been living with male roommates, and i have never been saying to myself that i like this guy or o i’m attracted to that one, never. In addition, even if i was attracted by someone, i would never do that, first of all because of my religion that i respect, second of all because i won’t be liking doing sex with guys. I imagine myself with a woman, and ofc having children... i want to stoop thinking about this problem and live a good life, specially in my twenties. This problem affected me so much, that i can’t talk to any girl, thinking that i won’t be her prince. This problem is living in my mind for over 4 years now, but as im growing, im just letting go the idea of having a straight relationships, that i dream of them. I just want to be normal. I’m also thinking that my attraction to guys, is that i envy them about their dick size is, all i see during looking to a gay porn video o a photo, is just the person’s dick that all, because i think my 14cm’s dick isn’t enough, specially when all of my male friends have big dicks behind their boxers, i just envy them. I try telling myself that my self-confidence came from my unhappiness about my penis. I want to know how to deal with this shit, and how i can get what i want, a normal life, no gay thing no dicks, Just having a girl by my side and living together. Thank you




What if I stay in this relationship for the rest ...

I've been in a relationship with a queer female person for a year now. I've never been in any other relationship. We're in a very happy and healthy relationship together. But, I'm worried about the future. What if I stay in this relationship for the rest of my life, and never have any experiences with other people, or with people of other genders? I feel badly for thinking this way, but the both of us starting CEGEP has me thinking of my future. My partner and I talk about everything, but I don't want her to feel like I don't want to be with her by telling her this. Though they're very supportive of my queerness, my parents might like the idea of me "trying a relationship with a boy too", so I feel like they aren't the best people to ask. And I have no queer adults in my life to look up to who. I don't know what I should do or who I should talk to.


Am I bisexual because I want a relationship with a ...

I am currently fifteen and this August turning sixteen. In the past two years or so I have started being fiscally attracted to other men and sometimes I fantasize having sex in the future with men. I think I am straight because I have always wanted to have a wife with kids and have a family but I am not fiscally attracted to women. But i still haven't been in a relationship with a girl or a boy. I am confused about my sexuality. Am I gay because I am attracted more to them and not girls. Am I bi because I want a relationship with a girl but I will be down to try with a boy. Or am I just not ready to accept what my sexuality is?


My partner is asexual and I’m not. How can we ...

I feel kinda awkward asking this but there aren’t many ressources so I think this is my best shot. I’m trans and my bf is also trans. We are in a long distance relationship. He’s asexual and I’m not however he’s pretty okay with having sex he just doesn’t get anything out of it and he prefers kinky things then actual sex. We’ve tried a few things but I wanna find a way I can make both me and him happy sexually dépiste being far apart. Any suggestions on how to do that in long distance relationships ?



Can you be lesbian without a strong attraction towards anyone ...

Can you be lesbian without a strong attraction towards anyone yet? I’ve never really felt a strong attraction towards or had a crush on anyone of either gender yet. I’ve been questioning my sexuality for a while, and i started to think i might be a lesbian. This has lead me to the question, do i need to have felt a strong attraction or had a crush on a girl to be a lesbian? And does it really matter anyway? Many thanks, Samantha


I have tried out different labels, asexual, queer, lesbian, straight ...

Hey, so ive always sort of felt i was bisexual. since probably around 8, however recently (probably like 13) i realized that thats not true. i feel uncomfortable around men, im not sure if its just like a phobia or something to do with my dad (as i never knew him) the idea of kissing or intimately touching a man makes me extremely uncomfortable, ive had boyfriends in the past and being physically close to them is really really hard for me. even emotionally i dont know how to let them in, im worried it will always be this way as ive tried so many things and its all yet to work. i have tried out different labels, asexual, queer, lesbian, straight and nothing seems to fit right. for a little while asexual is what i went with even though i didnt think it fit right, because im not sexually attracted to anyone. being close to girls has always been easier for me, ive even kissed a few, hugging hand holding etc etc just works better but im not sure if its because i dont like females or because i do. it all just sort of blurs together and i never know what im feeling. i grew up in a home that wasnt very affectionate and so i was thinking maybe that had something to do with it? my parents didnt like eachother that much and fought a lot and again, i thought that mightve been a reason as to why i cant make meaningful relationships. i dont know really maybe this was a bad idea but if there was anything you could help me with, or anything you could like clarify for me it would be great. please get back to me :). Lala


I took a molly pill and went to a club ...

Hello, im 23 year old on November 2.. I took a molly pill and went to a club where i had my first questioning on if im gay since a man looked at me from distance.. Since this day I started overthinking and checking and obsessing over guy and gay thoughts.. I dont go a minute without thinking of it and its gotten to the point where i dont want to be with girls when truly ive always been straight and loved and been atttacted to them.. my loss of desire and appeal for girls and surely ramped up my belief i really am gay.. now today im at a point where i can barely work through a shift of 8 hours so i had to adapt and open up to my close friends and tell them I might have to label myself gay for now to help cope with my anxiety.. Idk what to do but i just wish i was like before and just attracted to girls and still want to be straight and not gay.. Idk what to do but im definitely depressed and unsure of myself but everything seems like im gay..



Pornography addiction, masturbation and sexual orientation: what’s going on with ...

I am in the early stages of puberty, which means i am very young. But i have a problem going for months now. I know that young boys, can be aroused to different kinds of pornography easily. I also had that phase, but i only masturbated on men turning into animals, men into girls, men into musuclar men, etc. It is very weird i agree. But i the really weird thing is i masturbate on gay pornoghrapy, i dont know why. but i think it was because i masturbated on muscular men than other transformations (tf's). I thought i was gay. But i dont think i am. I started to like "bulges" too. Then my brain wads crazy one day, i cant control of myself thinking about my friends being naked and having a gigantic penis. Last month was the most gay/muscular men masturbation i ever had. Im clearly addicted to it. Am i gay?, How can i stop doing this gay/muscular man masurbation?, And finally, After this phase, will i be using nrmal pornography/masturbating at the opposite sex ?