Category: Coming out / Orientation


I am 39 years old and just came out as ...

Hello, I am a 39 year old male, who just recently came out. I admit I am struggling with my new identity/lifestyle/ am struggling to continue to come out to those around (currently I just came out to those very close to me and just shut everyone else out of my life). I am looking for some support/ group to help me feel comfortable with new identity and am not entirely sure where to go for help. I found your website on line (I know it says the focus is up to age 35, but I figured I would try and write to see if you'd be able to help). Thank you in advance for any help your able to offer. Nicholas


How to make him discover that I am gay ?

Alright so I'll be pretty straight forward. I really like this guy, and I've liked him for a long time now. I've recently "come out" to most people, but it's not information that I just pass around to everyone. So: 1. How do I let this guy know, or find out if he already knows, that I'm gay? At least it would be a start if I could let him know that I'm gay and see what happens from there. What I'm trying to say is how do I start a conversation like that? I see him pretty often in some of my classes and we usually sit next to each other and whatever, but how do I be subtle in letting someone (whos maybe wondering?) know that I'm gay! 2.What the heck do I say afterwards?! I want him to know that I like him, but I'm not always that good at being so straight forward about something like that . Thanks! -Cool Bean


Is it unusual to start being attracted by same-sex in ...

I\'m a 35 year old man who has recently discovered that I\'m bisexual. Before this, I thought of myself as hetero: totally into women, not into men. However, as I\'m continuing my spiritual and self-discovery journey, I find I am attracted to men, when I never have been before. Are there other people who have discovered they\'re bisexual in their mid 30\'s? Is this an unusual time to be making this discovery?



Our parents caught us kissing and now I have to ...

I've always been a bit of a tomboy, but my parents would never let me do the things I wanted- the only sports they would let me play were the 'girly' ones- figure skating, ringette, soccer, cheerleading, ballet, gymnastics, etc. I guess maybe they figured something out about me at five that it took me years to realize: I'm gay. (My hands are shaking just typing that) I have a girlfriend, the most beautiful, awesome, smart, funny girl in the world. I love her. Nobody knew about us until yesterday, when her mother caught us kissing when we thought nobody was home. We're no longer allowed to see each other and my parents are sending me to Catholic school, because apparently 'this would never have happened in a Catholic school'. They're really, really, really angry. I'm- so many things. I'm terrified, I'm scared, I'm angry, I'm confused, and I'm really depressed. I just want to die, or run away from home and leave this hick town forever. I don't know what to do. Please help.


What if he tells my secret if I tell him ...

I'm a boy and I learned last year that I was bisexual, although I am more attracted to guys. I want to ask a certain guy to know whether or not he is homo/bisexual but i can't find a way to ask him. If I do ask him whether or not he is, and learn he is heterosexual, he might make my "little secret" public. I need to find a way to ask him without that happening, so do you have any advice ?


I am 18 and my 16 years old girlfriend came ...

I saw a question similar to this but want to ask for advice in my situation. So, I've been going out with Erika, my girlfriend, for almost 8 months. It's not my first long-term relationship but it is for her--it's her first lesbian relationship. She wanted to come out to her family and I told her I'd support her. Once her family found out though, well, her mom hasn't stopped crying. And I know she blamed me because I "converted" her in her eyes, and I could see why she would feel disrespected, considering I've slept over etc. I texted her mom and told her I was sorry. She told me that I had given a horrible pain to her family and to stay away from her family because Erika was confused and that since she is 16 and I'm 18, an adult, I should just stay away. My gf says her mom would never sue me but I'm scared, our moms work at the same school. The last thing I want to do is stay away from Erika, though. So what do I do?



Should I come out as a bisexual?

There's something which is bothering me. A lot of mates ask me or talk to me about their boyfriends and girlfriends. Would it be a good choice to tell everyone? I have no problems with who I am but my mother often tells me I do not have to talk about it with a lot of people. I just want to be me, not to lie even if it is to a question of someone I am not close with. You see, for me bisexuality or homosexuality is not a problem but when I think at the opinions of others about it, I think to myself that maybe I am doing something wrong. It passed quickly but I am still wondering if saying it just to mates that I am bisexual is a good idea? Because you know people can be mean in college so I do not know what to do... I am really tempted not to hide at all but I am not sure what to do.


I came out to friends and now some are casting ...

I am 14 years old and came out to some of my close friends a few months ago and they all took it well. Anyway, I had a crush on one of my good friends for nearly two years. He was not among the ones I came out to. I have not confessed to him directly but he has probably heard it from my friends. However, because of recent events, I do not really have feelings for him anymore. For the past few weeks he has stopped talking to me and he has been telling my friends not to invite me when we all go out together, and sometimes they really do listen to him. I feel like they all hate me. I really just want to be friends with him again. What should I do?


I am bi-curious but I don’t know how to approach ...

I am bi-curious. I have made out with a few dudes, but I want to explore beyond that boundary. My bestfriend is straight, and I don't know what his take on it would be if I came out of the closet. How should I tell him? Also, I'm not very good at the whole male approach, with women I can walk up to them and be ok, but with men I beat around the bush, and most of the time I get scared, because I don't want to be embarrassed if they're not into me. Help!