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I get more excited about women, but would prefer to ...

About a year ago, I began to be attracted to gay men, in looks and stereotypical personalities, and watching them "do stuff" turns me on. I became sort of obsessed with the gay community and started watching logo, reading gay books, etc, and standing up for gay rights whenever it's mentioned. I thought I was a little weird, but still considered myself straight, just something of a "fag-hag". But, lately, I've found myself more attracted to women than guys. When I think of women, I tend to get more excited than I do with men, but I like the idea of a bf more than a gf. I feel like a total hypocrite saying this, but I'm terrified of the thought that I might be a lesbian. I've always hidden my "gay obsession" from my dad because I know how he'd react, but my mom knows and she asked me once if I was a lesbian and I gave her a definite "no". I feel like I'd be betraying her if I decided I was. I'm very shy and have never had a boyfriend, crush, or male friend since I was 7. What do (...)

I can’t stop thinking about 2 girls with exotic eyes

i need help. im a young girl, and i think i have this obsession with wanting so desperatly to see my two friends again because they have these eyes that have a color mixture of blue and green and i think i know that im Bi but every time they look directly, pass by, or they say "hi" i get this really queasy feeling that i long for. im afraid if i tell them how i really feel im afraid that our friendship will be broken. i think their eye color is very exotic and beautifully luminous, i want to see them so bad i can hardly bear it, i think about them almost all the time. i need help and advise, i cant stop thinking about them. ive only told three people in my whole life about what i feel. i just havent told my them, and i havent told my mom about me and my feelings. their names are charlotte, and crystal. please help me, i really need it

Repulsed by men since I was raped, I don’t know ...

i was raped when i was 13 and i've adored girls since i was 14 always feeling repulsion for men, never attraction. I tried to act "normal" which also disgusted me, and i slept with 4 men to try and prove how normal i was. This whole act left me dead inside and i was utterly repulsed by me and my actions. I hated being gay and hid it from everyone. When i was twenty i met a man in a bar who i instantly fell for despite finding the male form repulsive. He is wonderful and tender and attentive and perfect, we have been married nearly 11 years. i have recently told him i am a lesbian though i have never had any girlfriends and tried to explain my past and the fact that basically i have lied about being straight. We still have sex and i adore him as a person and tend not to see him as a man, obviously everything is confusing, can you please help. He is very supportive and loving and is trying to understand, but i guess i just can't explain who i am very well. Am i a lesbian?