Tag: lesbian



So is it normal to reject your sexuality? How do ...

I have questioned my sexuality basically my entire life. I have always felt more attracted to women than men. But always dated men because it was considered "normal". My first kiss ever, was with a girl. My first sexual experience was with a girl. My best friend in middle school and I messed around a lot and spent just about every day with her. But when she finally wrote me a letter telling me how she felt towards me and that she wanted to be more than just my friend, It pissed me off. I was really mean to her and just stopped being friends with her altogether. For years, off and on I messed around with another one of my friends but convinced myself that we were just having fun. And Everytime she tried to make it more official, It would irritate me. Both of us, were off and on in relationships with men. Anytime I've been in a relationship with a guy, I've always struggled with letting go of the "gay thoughts". I'd always choose spending time around females than I would my boyfriend/partner. I've always been more comfortable around females than men. Everytime I was in a straight relationship with a guy, I always felt like I couldn't fully be myself. It wasn't until I finally decided to stop being in a straight relationship and started seeing a female. She was/is so pretty and funny and that was the first time in my entire life where I felt genuinely happy and completely myself. Being in straight relationships with men, It was very rare that I ever made the first move but being with her was completely different. I wanted to kiss her, hold her hand, literally just be next to her. But the thought of coming all the out was literally terrifying. I don't know why. I wanted to commit and ask her to be my girlfriend soo bad but I did the exact opposite. All the thoughts like, what Is my life going to look like being in a relationship with a female, what if this is just a phase for her, how are both of our kids gonna react, there was so many questions that spiked my anxiety to the point that I just ghosted her and went back to seeing men and made excuses and was kinda mean to her. I've always been more okay with public relationships with men but I struggled with them privately, being with a female is opposite. So is it normal to reject your sexuality? How do I become more comfortable with it? K.O.


Can you be lesbian without a strong attraction towards anyone ...

Can you be lesbian without a strong attraction towards anyone yet? I’ve never really felt a strong attraction towards or had a crush on anyone of either gender yet. I’ve been questioning my sexuality for a while, and i started to think i might be a lesbian. This has lead me to the question, do i need to have felt a strong attraction or had a crush on a girl to be a lesbian? And does it really matter anyway? Many thanks, Samantha



I have tried out different labels, asexual, queer, lesbian, straight ...

Hey, so ive always sort of felt i was bisexual. since probably around 8, however recently (probably like 13) i realized that thats not true. i feel uncomfortable around men, im not sure if its just like a phobia or something to do with my dad (as i never knew him) the idea of kissing or intimately touching a man makes me extremely uncomfortable, ive had boyfriends in the past and being physically close to them is really really hard for me. even emotionally i dont know how to let them in, im worried it will always be this way as ive tried so many things and its all yet to work. i have tried out different labels, asexual, queer, lesbian, straight and nothing seems to fit right. for a little while asexual is what i went with even though i didnt think it fit right, because im not sexually attracted to anyone. being close to girls has always been easier for me, ive even kissed a few, hugging hand holding etc etc just works better but im not sure if its because i dont like females or because i do. it all just sort of blurs together and i never know what im feeling. i grew up in a home that wasnt very affectionate and so i was thinking maybe that had something to do with it? my parents didnt like eachother that much and fought a lot and again, i thought that mightve been a reason as to why i cant make meaningful relationships. i dont know really maybe this was a bad idea but if there was anything you could help me with, or anything you could like clarify for me it would be great. please get back to me :). Lala



I feel more comfortable around women than men. Am I ...

How do I know if I'm straight and only feel threatened by men because of the experiences,I've seen, of other women at the hands of abusive men? How do I know if I'm genuinely attracted to women and not just because they are non-threatening? I'm a 25 year old female and have never been in a relationship. I've seen many abusive relationships between heterosexual couples, and the idea of being physically intimate with a man scares me. So each time someone expresses interest in me I shut them down. More recently, I've thought that I may be a lesbian because I'm more comfortable around women and spend more time with women than men. The only men that I feel comfortable with are men who have character traits typically associated with women and men that are openly gay. I am very close to my female friends and now feel self-aware when I'm with them because of the possibility of being attracted to them. Is there any way to know if I'm straight, a lesbian or bisexual?



I would like to make my coming out, but I ...

At 63 I am still confused and miserable. I love women but have never had a full-on relationship with one. I want to know if I can be a part of a bi- or lesbian community that values fidelity? All the bi\'s that I\'ve met were interested in threesomes and I am definitely not. Can I come out at 63 and not lose all my friends? I am too old to start over and yet... I want the love of a woman. What should I do? Do I try to get accepted in the glbt community in my town? I used to be before I married my last husband. I don\'t want to be isolated or shut off from any part of the world. I should have gone through this in adolescence. Why I didn\'t I don\'t know. I had a lesbian friend but she didn\'t turn me on, she was butch. I like feminine women. I am in an agony of indecision. I feel like at my age I must decide and stick to it. Thank you for your time.



I get more excited about women, but would prefer to ...

About a year ago, I began to be attracted to gay men, in looks and stereotypical personalities, and watching them "do stuff" turns me on. I became sort of obsessed with the gay community and started watching logo, reading gay books, etc, and standing up for gay rights whenever it's mentioned. I thought I was a little weird, but still considered myself straight, just something of a "fag-hag". But, lately, I've found myself more attracted to women than guys. When I think of women, I tend to get more excited than I do with men, but I like the idea of a bf more than a gf. I feel like a total hypocrite saying this, but I'm terrified of the thought that I might be a lesbian. I've always hidden my "gay obsession" from my dad because I know how he'd react, but my mom knows and she asked me once if I was a lesbian and I gave her a definite "no". I feel like I'd be betraying her if I decided I was. I'm very shy and have never had a boyfriend, crush, or male friend since I was 7. What do (...)



Repulsed by men since I was raped, I don’t know ...

i was raped when i was 13 and i've adored girls since i was 14 always feeling repulsion for men, never attraction. I tried to act "normal" which also disgusted me, and i slept with 4 men to try and prove how normal i was. This whole act left me dead inside and i was utterly repulsed by me and my actions. I hated being gay and hid it from everyone. When i was twenty i met a man in a bar who i instantly fell for despite finding the male form repulsive. He is wonderful and tender and attentive and perfect, we have been married nearly 11 years. i have recently told him i am a lesbian though i have never had any girlfriends and tried to explain my past and the fact that basically i have lied about being straight. We still have sex and i adore him as a person and tend not to see him as a man, obviously everything is confusing, can you please help. He is very supportive and loving and is trying to understand, but i guess i just can't explain who i am very well. Am i a lesbian?