Hello, I'm a sixteen year old girl. I recently have started looking at Youtube videos of FTM people and have been suddenly entranced.
I don't have the 'always liked boys stuff' stories that they have, but when I was younger I was outgoing and happy. I wore dresses and played with dolls, but I played sports and got the dresses dirty, and played 'zombies' with my headless Barbies. Then as I got older I started to retreat within myself. I talked a lot less and felt more and more uncomfortable with who I was. I never hated my gender, but I've never really liked who I was, I felt I should be different.
Now I'm so confused. I do have a tendency to randomly give myself identities, trying to find myself. But I've never felt so confused or scared like this, and definitely never wanted to talk about it. I don't know what to do and I desperately need someone to understand. I know this road is so much harder and I am really scared. Any help would be appreciated.