29 June 2007

My girlfriend thinks I'm too clingy

I’m in the beginning of a relationship with a girl that I really like but I just got a tip from one of her friends that she feels I’m too clingy (which is also the reason my last real relationship ended). I feel my big problem with girls is that if I like them I get too clingy.
How do I become less clingy towards a girl and can you please give me some examples to work from because everything I’m reading on the subject doesn’t help me unless they tell me different examples and dilemmas. Thanks for the help.

Inge Rollin

Dear Tommy,

I understand from your letter that you have the information from a third party that the girl you are dating right now feels you are too clingy… I strongly suggest that you try asking her directly what she thinks about this – if this is true and if you could do to overcome this obstacle together.

Being with someone requires you to communicate directly with the person and not assume what other people tell you about what the person is currently thinking. Then when you clarify the situation, you can address the issues and find solutions together.

I cannot tell you what being clingy is as my perception might be different from that of other people – from yours or from your girlfriend’s. I hope this helps you out. If you need more help, don’t forget you can always see your school’s social worker and discuss the matter.

Inge Rollin, Sexologue B.A