18 June 2008

I think my teacher is attracted to me.

I think my teacher is attracted to me. I am just confused with how he is acting around me; he is the type of teacher everybody loves, makes fun of everybody and is known for being a hardass towards his students (regardless of their gender), but once I got to know him I realized that there was something very different about the way he acted towards me. He stares at me constantly when I’m in his class; he grants me different privileges over other students; he asks me about my love life; and I know he is trying hard not to cross any lines, and I just really need to know how to act around him. Help?

Dee Gamme

Hi Kelli,

Thank you for your question.

There are a few questions I need to ask you to clarify this situation. What kind of different privileges does your teacher give you? Are you certain that other students don’t receive the same kind of privileges? I think the way you act around him depends on the way you feel about him staring at you and asking you about your love life. Does it bother you? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? If it does, you can always seek the help of another teacher, guidance counselor or school principal.

If you feel an attraction to this teacher, this could be a whole different situation! Acting on such an attraction could get both you and him in trouble. He could even lose his job. In fact, he could still lose his job if anyone else has made complaints about the way he teases students, even if the students seem to think he is funny or attractive. Have any of your classmates noticed that he treats you differently? Do they tease you or him about it?

You say he is trying hard not to cross any lines, but I feel that asking you about your love life is close to being an unprofessional behavior. It is not really his business, and he is supposed to be there to teach the students, not find out if they have girlfriends or boyfriends. If he were a guidance counselor, perhaps it would be more appropriate; but even then, it is delicate subject matter.

If you feel ready, you can always directly ask him why he is always staring at you. Make sure you are not alone with him when you ask. He may not answer honestly, but it might give you some sort of clue as to what is going through his head. You could even call him out on it, such as asking him to stop staring. If at any moment he makes you uncomfortable, remember you don’t have to just sit there and take it. There are other people at your school who can help.

Good luck and if you have any more questions, don’t hesitate to contact us again!

Dee for Alterheros.