20 May 2003

I think about kissing my friend, I like her alot

I find guys attractive to an extent and enjoy doing things with them (though I have not slept with one). However there is one girl who is a friend of mine and I like her way more than a friend; I have had suspicions that she may be bi but she denies it. I have never done anything with another girl but I have dreamt about kissing her and I am confused I think about her alot.
– Rebecca

Équipe -Pose ta question!-

Hello Rebecca,

It seems to me that your question revolves around you questioning your sexual orientation moreso than that of your friend.  We cannot answer the question for you since each situation involves a personal journey that only you can truly answer yourself. On the other hand, we can help you to see things more clearly by suggesting a few things for reflection. Questioning one’s sexuality can represent a part of any individual’s psychosexual development. What this means is that questioning one’s sexuality is completely legitimate and healthy.

Here are a few things for reflexions which we can suggest:

  • What type of feelings do you experience at the thought of embrassing, caressing, and developing a loving or sexual relationship with someone of the same gender as you?
  • Do these thoughts provoke, within you, a sense of well-being, desire, pleasure, joy, happiness? Are these thoughts simply fantasies?

While trying to answer these questions, the experience should help you to see things more clearly with respect to your attraction towards people of the same gender and your sexual preferences.  However, it’s important to know that it is not necessary for us to sexually experiment in order to determine if we are physically, emotionally, psychologically, and sexually attracted to someone of the same gender.

To help you continue on your journey of self-discovery, we suggust that you explore the wealth of relevant information on the internet, such as that which can be found in the Questioning (Sexual Orientation) folder on AlterHeros, as well as the resources and support organizations in your neighbourhood (i.e. friends, community organizations) which could provide some aid and support as you continue on your journey.

Don’t forget that it’s important to know if you feel good or comfortable with such behavior and attraction regardless of what others will think of you, even if it appears scary. What’s important to know is that you feel good about yourself and comfortable with your deepest feelings, including your sexual orientation.

Team AlterHeros