I am worried about being addicted to online porn


Before I say why the last five months have been so interesting, I will try and catch you up. All my life, I have been attracted to women. I can remember my childhood crushes, the girls I used to date, and the first time I snuck a peek at Playboy. Shannon Tweed, Heather Kozar…ahh such beautiful women! I grew up well, had wonderful girlfriends, all of my sexual fantasies and urges involved women, girls in class got me off, I loved the way they looked and felt, one girl in which I fell in love with for the better part of two years. I was a very happy man. In addition to this, I had a couple addictive/compulsive/obsessive things to my life and what I see now as the most troubling was an internet porn addiction. I looked at it every day since the age of 16. I loved it though and thought nothing was wrong. I gradually moved on to more hardcore stuff. What should I do now? Is there a way to get rid of this addiction, or is this just normal and I should not worry about it?
Jason

Hi Jason,

Thanks for writing in to us at AltherHéros. From what you said in your post, it sounds as though that you have been very happy with the influence that women have had in your life but you also seem concerned about an internet porn addiction.

The first thing that comes to mind is why you believe you have a compulsion/obsession when it comes to pornography. In your post, you mention that you started watching porn when you were 16 and that you loved it without thinking it was wrong. What exactly makes you believe you have an addiction? What makes you say that the last five months have been so interesting?

Generally, an addiction to pornography is characterised by an overwhelming need for pornographic material and an intense preoccupation with it, so much so, that it begins to interfere with your job and your relationships with partners, family, friends etc… You might find yourself spending inordinate amounts of time consuming various types of pornography (magazines, videos, online etc…) and may end up neglecting important aspects of your day-to-day life in social, occupational and recreational areas. You may also find yourself failing repeatedly at attempts to reduce or control your desire to consume pornography and may also feel ashamed or secretive about your habits.

If you feel as though you fit in with the description above, you may indeed have a preoccupation with pornography. If you feel like your addiction is quite serious, you might want to seek counselling to help you work out your relationship with pornography.

If you don’t feel like you fit in the description above, or if you feel that it describes behaviour that is a little more extreme than yours, then you may not have too serious a problem. If it does not affect your relationships, your job, your health or your day-to-day life, you could be overly concerned; it all depends on how you perceive your own consumption. Are you worried because of the type of pornography you’re consuming? It is, of course, illegal to possess certain types of pornography in the United States, such as child pornography, snuff films, non-consensual material, bestiality etc…. If this is the type of pornography you frequent, your worries are well founded since you may be breaking the law.

In the end, we cannot tell you whether or not you truly have an addiction or if your consumption is “normal”; this is something you must decide by yourself. If you are writing in, it is more than likely that you are not okay with some aspect of your habits. Try and figure out exactly what it is that is bothering you. If you come up with more details regarding your relationship with pornography, please feel free to write to us again if you discover that you have new questions. Good luck and thanks again for writing in.

K-Wo for AlterHéros

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