25 February 2004

I am confused. Can you help me identify who I am?

I am so confused right now, I am attracted to people of my same sex and have even done stuff with them, but I still don’t know if I’m bi or what I am because those might have been just fases so I’ve heard from other people but I’m still attracted to them. But I’m currently involved with a girl and I’m having trouble labeling myself as bi or straight. Thanks for taking the time to read my letter and just any kind of advice will be helpful. – Nick

Équipe -Pose ta question!-

Hi Nick,


What you’re feeling is absolutely normal. Questioning your sexuality or sexual preference is part of discovering who you are. It’s not something that you’ll necessarily figure out overnight, it takes time. I, nor anyone else, can tell you “what you are”, that is something you’ll have to figure out on your own. There are, however, people you can talk to who can give you emotional support and guidance while you’re trying to figure everything out. The internet is a good place to start and we are glad that you found AlterHeros. We suggest that you have a look at our previous answers of the “questionning/orientation” category.


As for Montreal resources, there is Interligne 514-866-0103 that offers phone support, info and referrals. You might also try the LGBTQ+ Community Centre ((514) 528-8424, info@ccglm.org, www.ccglm.org). You can also check out Project 10. If these services aren’t what you’re looking for, you might be able to get further referrals through them. It never hurts to ask!


And remember: You may not be ready to put a “label” on your feelings or put yourself in a particular “box” about your sexual orientation, but if you are having crushes on guys then why not explore those feelings? It won’t necessarily be easy, but if you’re honest with yourself and those around you then hopefully it will help you come to your own conclusions about your sexuality over time.


Good luck!


Team AlterHeros