2 October 2002

How to Give a Better Massage

Équipe -Pose ta question!-

Massage is the best ice-breaker!

It’s true! How many times have you found yourself in a situation with a guy that you really wanted but you weren’t sure what your first move should be, or even if you should make a first move.

Try offering him a back rub or a massage, or imply that you would like to get one from him. A massage can be non sexual just by itself, and it lets him, or you decide if you want to take things further. I know it’s cheesy, but it works.

If it’s someone you don’t know very well, sometimes you don’t even need to ask him. If you think that he’s going to be receptive to it, then find an opportune moment where you can get behind him and put your hands on his neck and shoulders. Most people can’t resist a back or neck rub.

This doesn’t always work though since there are some guys only allow a CMT (certified massage therapist), or their chiropractor to work on their back, and they will tell you that they don’t want a massage. If that kind of a prissy attitude doesn’t turn you off you may want to ask him if he’s willing to give you a back rub even if he won’t accept one.

If your guy, however, is receptive to the idea then I have one key tip to offer you.

When giving a massage, use the pads of your fingers, not the tips.

When you use the tips of your fingers, it often feels like someone is clawing into your back, and it can hurt quite a bit, especially the muscles are really tense.

When you use the pads of your fingers, it feels much more soothing and relaxing. But hey, if your guy is into that kind of pain, then dig in 🙂 Most of the guys I’ve been with tend to prefer the soothing kind of massage, and shy away from the painful variety.

When massaging a guy’s neck or back try running your fingers through his hair, up the back of his scalp, along the sides of his head, to his temples, all the while gently rubbing in a circular motion. This kind of “scalp massage” is a pretty unique experience for a lot of people, and I can tell you it feels wonderful.

If your partner is still fully clothed after you’ve worked on his neck and shoulders for awhile, and you want things to go a little further, try pulling his shirt out of his pants, or if it’s already out slide your hands under his shirt. 

It’s a lot easier to give a guy a rub down without clothes in the way. If you have lotion in the house, ask if he’d like you to use it on him. Once he agrees he has to take his shirt off.

When your guy is laid out on his stomach and you’re massaging his back, in particular the muscles along his spine, turn one of your hands sideways, and cup it, so that the bottom of your palm is resting on one side of his spine, and the pads of your fingers on the other. Then place your other hand on top and apply steady even pressure as you massage the muscles along his spine using a circular motion. Not only is this very soothing, but massaging this often overlooked part of the body can also release a tremendous amount of tension from your partner. Remember they’re called “back rubs”, if shoulders were the only part of the body to get tense they’d be called “shoulder rubs”.

Try working your way down to the small of his back. If he hasn’t got a hard-on yet, then as your hands get closer to his butt, he’s likely to pop one.

If you have enough stamina and you’re up for it, try rubbing down his legs. These can be a little tricky, as no two guys have the same  build legs. Some men have really slender legs and there may not be too much to grab onto during a massage.

If you are rubbing down his legs, work your way up from his feet, along his calves, to the insides of his thighs. Try to get as close to his crotch as possible without touching it. This is a wonderful way to tease him, and crank up the sexual tension. If you have an affectation for butts, then rubbing, kneading, and squeezing his should be right up your (and his) alley.

Massages aren’t only about squeezing and rubbing. Light touch can be extremely exciting and thrilling, unless he’s severely ticklish. Then it can actually pass for mild torture, physical and psychological, and that’s usually very fun, well – for at least one person involved.

Very lightly running your fingers along his back, his love handles, the insides of his thighs, under his arms and down his sides, is usually sure to make him breathe a little quicker, fall into a sensual bliss, or at least make him break out in goose bumps.

If that’s not enough – a light kiss or lick, followed by touch here and there, alternately blowing warm then cold air on various parts of his body (especially nipples, and neck) should turn up the heat a notch or two. As always don’t be afraid to explore his body, it’s another good way to judge the responsiveness of your partner.

A good sensual massage can be the prelude to a wonderful session of passionate sex.