19 April 2005

Can you give me advice on being able to come out?

Hello! I live in Montréal, I go to Dawson College and I have a hard time admitting my sexuality. Can you give me advice on being able to come out with it? – James, 19 years old

JP Duc

Hi James!

Thanks for your question. It particularly affected me since I graduated from Dawson College in 2001. Yes, admitting or being comfortable in your sexuality is difficult at first. Deciding who you are or choosing to identify with a certain “label” is not for everyone. I liked my experience at Dawson, there is a great gay lesbian student group there called ETC (Etcetera). Here their website address, it’s a Yahoo! Group where you can get news from the group: http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/dawson_etcetera/. Some semesters they are more active than others, but it’s a small group of people just like you some people are out, other are not and most have lots of questions about their sexual orientation.

Being at a big Cegep like Dawson can be easy or difficult depending if you know people there from high school. I was lucky because I had been in a French high school and knew no one at Dawson. So I was able to be out and identify as gay since none of my high school friends or personal friends were at Dawson. I know that this is not the case for most students, a lot of English high school students end up at Dawson, so usually you know people from school already… these people know you as being heterosexual so it is difficult to suddenly change direction.

Your feelings on your sexuality probably started when you where a young teen, and now you have decided that you want to live being the real you inside and out, no more hiding no more lies. Coming out is usually not easy and being positive and affirmative now will help you a lot. I suggest you write down your experience in a log on your computer, make it password protected, so it stays confidential. I guarantee that if you are ready to make the effort now at school that by next year you will look back on your logs and go “man I’m not in the same place in my life anymore”. Also, you can write down how you feel right now in the form of a personal story that you could post on the website. It’s a great way to express yourself and you’ll get lots of feedback from your visitors.

If are you not ready to come out and would like more information, check out our “Coming out/ Orientation” section. You might find some information useful for you.

I wish you the best of luck, and trust me it becomes much easier as you get older.


Team AlterHeros